Love Letters to Chefs

Maybe you can resonate with this: feeling like you do all that you can, but the results don’t reflect that.

You have grown incredibly on the inside, but your outer world still feels limited.

You are not quite making the impact you want to: whether that is on your team, or in the business you run.

You wonder how others do it, making it look so easy. And whether you will ever get there.

And it is exhausting to keep putting in the effort, without seeing much progress in return.

You aspire towards the next level in your career, but this lack of positive feedback is making you feel frustrated. It is also chipping away at your confidence.

If this is where you are now, there is one thing I can say to reassure you: you are already on your way.

Think of where you are now as an in-between space.

You are not what you used to be, but you are also not quite who you are meant to be. Definitely an exciting, but often uncomfortable place to be in.

The only way out is to really own who you are becoming.

When you own and present to the world that next-level version of you, others begin to see you in that light. And see you in that next-level job or promotion.

This is not easy to do, and in Hospitality, you are often not mentored.

Which is why I support women like you: building the confidence you need, so that you can lean into that next-level version of yourself.

And reach for that next-level opportunity that allows your gifts and capabilities to shine through.

Ready for this? Then reply to this email or book a free, no-obligation 30-minute call with me.

They break you down to build you up.

All of us in Hospitality have experienced this at some point, usually at the hands of those with more authority on our teams. Especially those of us who have worked in the kitchen.

Needless to say, when this happens, your confidence takes a hit.

But before you have a chance to process that, you have to get back to work and prove your worth by getting it right the next time. So you simply carry on.

But some damage has been done.

You do not recognise this until you are presented with a big opportunity for growth. And then the doubts and fears creep in. You question whether you can pull it off.

When I unpack this with a client, we find that there is usually some event from years ago that led to those feelings of self-doubt. Even if they were the most capable of women.

When we work together to really see the truth behind those events, their energy is freed up and they can once again look forward to the new challenge, rather than fear it.

The truth is that the people who break you down are only going to build you up as far as it suits their agenda.

It’s never really about your potential beyond that.

But when an exciting new opportunity shows up, you have to operate from your full potential: all of who and what you truly can be.

Which is why it really changes your game to have someone who sees that in you.

And helps you lean into that potential.

Today, I open up enrolment for coaching for female leaders in Hospitality who are ready for that kind of support. Simply book a 30-40 minute call with me to get started, so we can determine if this is a right for where you are now.

 I cannot wait to see how your journey unfolds! 

“If you want a thing done well..”

Perhaps you have your own version of that saying. Your own rationale of why you should not take a break or book time off:

• Only I know how to do it
• Only I can get it done right
• It doesn’t get done if I don’t do it

Which is understandable, because you are expected to maintain a certain standard for the work executed under your leadership.

But you risk disempowering your team by being indispensable.

Because your focus then is on your own need for certainty and significance.

Rather than their needs, which might be opportunities for growth. Or the safety to figure something out and make mistakes in the process.

No one really wins here, right?

I’m back! After a little self-enforced break.

I had a trip to see my family in India already planned for July, but when a health issue (sinusitis) bookended that holiday, I forced myself to stop showing up here completely.

Which is something that I almost never do with LLTC. For those of you who have been here a while will know that I run Chefs at Christmas even over the year-end break.

It was interesting to listen to my own rationale of why I should just carry on working in July. Of course, there were practical reasons. 

But there were also stories I was telling myself.

Stories that I had made up about what would happen if I did this or if I did not do that.

The break with my family was super important to me – especially after we had gone through a bereavement earlier in the year.

And the reality was that LLTC did not fall apart because I stepped away.

But I made my own needs less important than showing up here, because _____________ (insert story).

This dilemma is super common to anyone who works in our industry. 

And needless to say, it is super uncomfortable. 

Because it means having to choose which is more important.

The smile on your customer’s face, or the one on your child’s.

Perfecting every detail for the big wedding at your venue, or making the time to plan your own with your partner.

Of course, a certain amount of sacrifice that is expected of you. That is just the nature of our work. 

But how much of it is a story you tell yourself – that you cannot do or enjoy something, because of ____________?

We often blame the industry, when in some cases, it might be our ideas of who we have to be that could be the problem.

Let me ask a different question.

What do you want some time and space for in your life right now? Let’s have that conversation so we can make that happen for you.

“You can’t always control what goes on outside, but you can always control what goes on inside.”

– Wayne Dyer

Easier said than done, yes, but so very true.

And powerful. Especially if you can embody this during service, when so many things can go wrong to disrupt your sense of calm.

We are trained in Hospitality to aim for high standards. Which means we can also be very hard on ourselves.

Be mindful of what is going on inside of you: self-judgement, self-blame, impatience, etc.

Getting into the state of flow is about taking yourself out of the picture. You just become one with the task you are executing.

In the moment, there is no room for self-judgement, or even self-appreciation.

The answer is not always in the wellbeing strategies and tools.

Without getting to the root cause of your stress, you are just going around in circles, trying to get by with strategies and tools.

Yes, those things are always helpful. You might find momentary relief from a yoga class, but then you would need to get back to yoga after a busy day at work to feel calm again.

But getting to the root cause of the problem means that you can find a way to tackle the stress once and for all.

Especially because in Hospitality you might not have enough time or energy to pursue the wellbeing strategies or tools.

Which makes it all the more important to get to the root cause of what is causing your stress.

[BOOKINGS CLOSE TODAY]: “It doesn’t have to be this way.”

Instead of stress and exhaustion 24×7, you could have more ease in getting your work done. And some time to hear yourself think?

Not that the stress and tiredness has completely gone away – that is just the nature of our work.

But you have the headspace and heartspace for more: more than just what you need to do to make customers happy.

You are fully present with the people who matter. The team you are growing, the friends and loved ones who cherish the time they spend with you.

You are not simply putting out fires all day at work. You have the capacity to execute those changes you so badly want to make.

You are available to mentor and encourage people. And not just tick lists of tasks they have done.

Trust me when I say that this is possible right where you are now. Without anything on the outside changing.

You see, the stress and exhaustion come from ‘reacting’, rather than ‘responding’. Responding is where the ease and flow come from.

Which is not easy to do in a non-stop industry.

But I can help you switch to working with ease, no matter what situation unfolds during a shift.

How? Book a call with me before the end of today to discuss how you can work the way you really want to work.

What would it mean for you to have someone in your corner?

Someone who fully sees you?

Someone who sees not just your human side and your everyday struggles, but also who you are when you are in your power?

Someone who can help you meet that full potential, by rising above those struggles?

So that you can operate from that place of potential every single day.

I have helped my clients take incredible leaps in their careers, but not by doing more or being someone they are not.

Instead, by being more of who they truly are and truly want to be.

Without falling in line with the ‘musts and shoulds’ imposed by the Hospitality industry. 

No more trying to look the part of having it all figured out.

But by carving their own path in how they work and lead their teams.

And they see the difference when they show up more authentically – appreciation from customers, the growth of team members, service that runs smoother.

Is that a result you want to experience too?

Book a call with me before next Thursday and so we can discuss the possibility of working together.