Love Letters to Chefs

I have been largely absent here over the past few weeks, and with good reason. Preparing for my coaching accreditation has taken priority; I have allowed that energy of delivering an outcome to take over, without resistance.

Which means that I have had to allow some things to fall away. 

Not the vital things like self-care.

But unwanted distractions, needless processes, musts-and-shoulds, and rules I had made up around how my work gets done.

They will not return to my life when my calendar opens up once again in the new year. 

Their place will be taken by systems helping me work more effectively the next time life gets hectic.

This busy season I invite you to observe the things that are naturally falling away in how you and your team normally work.

Are those things worth keeping?

Are there consequences to not keeping them?

What should take their place instead?

No action to take in this moment necessarily, but this should inform how you can streamline your work in the future.

About three weeks ago, I took the opportunity to attend the Oxford Food Symposium Kitchen Table Gathering on chefs’ identities.

Because it was an honest conversation, we very quickly got to reality: that the profession is becoming unsustainable for many. Perhaps it always was, but we chose to/had to overlook that.

We heard talented young chefs – Nia Minard, Dr. Cordula Peters, Caitríona Nic Philbín and Gaurish Shyam – share the hard choices they have had to make. Sometimes even giving up full-time careers as chefs.

Fortunately the industry still benefits from their talent.

Equally hard is the choice to create positive change. Billy Wagner talked about the complexities that came with implementing a 4-day week at Nobelhart & Schmutzig, even though the benefits were plenty.

There is such a need for these stories to be told. And for someone like Harold McGee to lend his weight to these conversations. Rather than the airtime being reserved for celebrated chefs, who are often disconnected from how young people experience the industry today.

It is okay to accept where you are in your relationship with work right now.

Even if the picture is not all rosy.

Sometimes you arrive at that crossroads in your professional life where you know you want something different from your work going forward.

Today I coached someone who was in exactly that place.

She felt a huge sense of guilt for wanting something more from her work, even though it was going so well. A sense that she did not deserve to complain about it.

But what I helped her see and what I want you to get from reading this is that it is completely okay to feel the pull that takes you in a different direction.

The important thing is to be honest to yourself. 

Because when those doubts are not aired, when those words go unspoken, that is when the trouble starts.

During our session it turned out that what she needed was more of being challenge by her work, which she was not getting. She did not feel she was growing.

Now she knows that she can have a conversation with her manager about this. And she feels at peace.

Her company could have lost a brilliant employee, simply because she never thought she had the power to change her experience of work.

And she could have come to resent the work and the profession she loved so much, and was clearly excelling at.

My question to you is what dilemma or challenge are you facing that you have not had the courage to resolve?

What would it mean for you to not have to do that alone?

Only in November, I am offering one-off coaching sessions for women in Hospitality who would like something different from their working life in 2023.

I support you in finding that new way forward. And help you arrive at a strategy or game plan to set that change into motion.

Go ahead: book your session here.

Have you ever given thought to the question of whether you get what you need from your working life?

When the coachee I worked with this week brought it up, it struck me that in Hospitality we hardly ever consider this.

More often than not, we tend to be givers by nature. Therefore, we rarely think about our own needs.

More often than not, we are conditioned to believe that if we do not agree with the way things are, then the fault lies with us.

In other words, we can never need our work to give us anything beyond helping us survive.

Across the board, we accept things as they are.

Because even the operators running businesses in this industry have to get comfortable with that perpetual survival mode.

Probably no one is really thriving in Hospitality.

Does that have to be the norm for all of us?

Not if we choose differently.

I do not mean that you will always be able to live your life or run your restaurant by design.

But with every choice or decision you make, at least you can speak up honestly about what you need.

Thus expanding the possibility of those needs being met.

Only this November, I am offering one-off coaching sessions to all of you who might be at a similar crossroads in your working life: whether you lead a team or run a food business.

You will be surprised by the depth you can explore in a single hour of coaching.

There is no better time to do it than now, as we bring this year to a close.

I invite you to take that first step and book your coaching session.

This is an opportunity for you to coach with me if you have been unable to, so far.

Only this November, I am opening up spots for single coaching sessions for women in Hospitality.

This is for you if you have not been able to access the longer-term coaching programme I run throughout the rest of the year. Or if you want a taste of how coaching can benefit you.

Which means it is more accessible and affordable.

The caveat is that I cannot offer ongoing support like I would normally do.

But if you would like to do some work to resolve a challenge or take steps towards a goal, then I invite you to sign up below.

The sessions are 60 minutes long and are held on Zoom.

Once you sign up, you will get a calendar link to schedule your session.

Book your session here and let’s get you headed to where you want to go!

A few weeks ago I had the opportunity of speaking to Naureen Ahmed of Inspiring Women in Hospitality about my journey in founding Love Letters to Chefs.

And how it might have all started with dancing the tango 🙂

“Today I share with you Ishoo’s (Ishwariya Rajamohan) story. She founded a platform called ‘ Love Letters to Chefs’  where she speaks up and educates about the importance of selfcare for chefs in the hospitality industry. She started her career in architecture, which was also a very male dominated industry and then went onto having a career as a pastry chef. It was her love of baking that drew her into this world. Towards the end of the episode she shares some simple tips that we can all follow to look after our wellbeing.”

You can watch the interview here.

Perhaps you are ready for the deeper truth about who and what you truly are.

At different stages of our lives we encounter struggles with confidence.

But something changes when the stakes are higher.

You are ready to rise above what you know are limited ideas about yourself.

In a way you have no choice, because to successfully take that next step in your career means that you will have to play a bigger game.

But that does not make it any easier.

You are human, like all of us.

And right when you need to show up at your best is when you meet your insecurity.

This is the hero’s journey that you will undertake multiple times in your professional life.

It is far easier with a guide by your side.

Can I support you as your coach?

If this is what you want to explore, book your Game Plan Call with me before the end of the month.

I recently did a coaching session where the coachee believed she had hit a wall in her career, and needed to take on a new role to revive her professional ambitions.

During our work together, it emerged that her challenge was something else.

She had gone as far as she could in her current ‘way of being’.

The caring person, the one who took on all the responsibility, the one you could rely on.

She was simply done with being that person.

But she couldn’t bring herself to be anything other than that in her current job.

You see, she was so good at putting others first.

The truth is that no new role would have made a difference.

You take yourself wherever you go.

Unless you do the inner work, you will create the same relationships and conflicts.

I helped her identify how she could change her experience of work, by changing how she brought herself to it.

On Thursday, I open up enrolment for 1-1 coaching with me.

In this cohort, I choose to work with female leaders in Hospitality to struggle with either the challenge of feeling more confident in themselves, or struggle with asserting their leadership so much that it affects their wellbeing.

If this is you, you can contact me to find out how it works.

I would be grateful if you could share this with any women in your network who is looking for this kind of support.

Thank you!

Confidence and wellbeing go hand in hand.

It is as simple as that.

When you need validation for your work and you do not easily get it, your normal response is to try harder.

Which means you put a lot of pressure on yourself to prove your worth.

And that pressure and stress extends to everyone on your team. You cannot help being affected by it.

This dynamic is far from healthy, and perhaps, this is the story of our lives for many of us in this industry.

But you can achieve even better results, with more ease, simply if you can tap into your innate confidence.

Join me for Monday’s webinar where I help you connect with that quality in yourself.

This training is for female leaders and aspiring leaders in Hospitality (BOH or FOH).

Please reserve your space before the deadline on Sunday.

Commanding versus demanding respect.

Maybe every one of us experiences this at some point in our careers: being seen as less than, simply by virtue of being a female leader in a male-dominated environment.

Sometimes others carry out actions that do real harm to our self-esteem.

Even their small actions can chip away at our sense of self – ignoring our authority, dismissing our suggestions, not taking our instructions seriously.

And we add to that harm through feeling shame or guilt about our work and our leadership.

Which, needless to say, upsets our internal wellbeing.

But you know this truth: that you can only ever command respect, and never demand it.

How does that work in a situation where you are not given that respect in the first place?

Join me for my webinar on Monday where I continue this discussion. This training is for female leaders and aspiring leaders in Hospitality, BOH or FOH.

Book your spot before the deadline tomorrow.

And please share with female friends or colleagues who will be interested in attending!